


divide but not devout

by icedmachinery, icemachine



Category: Doom Patrol (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s02e09 Wax Patrol, Gen, Imaginary Friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25818379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icedmachinery/pseuds/icedmachinery, https://archiveofourown.org/users/icemachine/pseuds/icemachine
Summary: Larry doesn't have an imaginary friend. Keeg does.
Relationships: Keeg Bovo & Larry Trainor
Comments: 9
Kudos: 36





	divide but not devout

**Author's Note:**

> listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COEZKpFdMe8) while reading for maximum experience

Every cell composing Larry Trainor carries an atmosphere of charm. The perfect, the unyielding; it feels like evolution unwound and curled through history’s pathways solely to create the perfect, ineffable example of humanity in the form of his existence, which is the reason the sun and moon remain cyclical, which is the inspiration for every masterpiece—-and every bone beneath his transcendent flesh has been carved from divinity’s softgentle hands, creating belief in the most furious and insistent skeptics, creating belief in the aspects of Keeg’s inner world that have never seen a hope like this —- hope, in the form of a man, in the form of a connection and the devotion that naturally sparks from experience, brushes with holiness.

He is the universe and everything within it, yet he is naive in some ways — Keeg knows, from within, that he’s thinking  _ I never had an imaginary friend, maybe it won’t—- _

It is endearing, almost. He thinks he is immune to this. 

Keeg never held a pessimistic mind before Larry; it bleeds through now. The ultimate fear: losing him. The ultimate fear: being torn from him, forcibly removed from the man that they devote their existence to unwavering. The ultimate fear: Larry Trainor, harmed; they have failed, the eternal vow of protection a broken seal.

He splits away from Cliff Steele, and the mission, although Keeg cannot comprehend it after his actions, is  _ find Niles Caulder.  _ Save Dorothy, save the world. Larry isn’t very good at saving the world; he can barely save himself. That’s okay. Keeg will always be there to help him. To save  _ him,  _ to repair. 

Larry thinks that he might be immune to the Candlemaker’s influence, here. That idea ends when he feels a hand rest on his shoulder — gentle, a lack of roughness, like Larry is fragile, Larry  _ is  _ fragile, Larry is—

He turns. Slow, cautious. Behind him—

_ Oh. _

Standing behind Larry Trainor is Larry Trainor.

For decades, Keeg dedicated their time in this world to daydreaming. It is humiliating to think about now; Larry despised them for sixty  _ years  _ while Keeg felt the sick feeling of devotion creep into their mind, and Keeg eventually invented a version of Larry that would reciprocate the devotion. A Larry Trainor that cared for them, buried in their dreams, in the crevices of their consciousness. When Larry would spit anger towards their existence, Keeg pictured this Larry — holding, comforting, caring, embracing, in contrast to reality’s venom.

And that Larry is facing them now—-facing  _ both  _ of them now.

The real Larry backs away, breathes  _ what the  _ **_fuck_ ** in a low tone,  _ I didn’t… I don’t… _

“Sure you don’t,” replies the other Larry. “You don’t have an imaginary friend and you don’t appreciate your friend in there.”

He looks down at his chest, and Keeg flutters within.

“It’s kind of hard to appreciate it when it’s constantly making my life difficult,” he says, through teeth, now sharpened. “When it never tells me what it wants me to do. When—”

“You really want to know what the Spirit wants from you?”

“What could you possibly know about what the Spirit wants? You’re not me. You’re not anything. You’re a parasite taking advantage of a child’s mind.”

“You’re right, in a way,” says the other Larry--- _ Keeg’s  _ Larry. “I’m not you. I could never be you. Why? Because I’m  _ better. _ ”

“Fuck you.”

Keeg stirs, feels torturous suffering; this manifestation is hurting Larry, and it is  _ their fault.  _ All that they are capable of is hurting Larry, and loving Larry.

“While  _ you  _ stood around hating the Negative Spirit for sixty years, I was keeping them -- yes,  _ them,  _ not  _ it --  _ company. I was helping them in ways that you could  _ never  _ be in touch with.”

“What?”

“You seriously can’t see it, can you? Newsflash, Captain Trainor: all that they want is for you to be  _ kind  _ to them. All that they have  _ ever  _ wanted is for you to be happy, for you to love yourself. The Spirit only wants your friendship, but you’re too blinded by your own sadness to see it.”

A realization begins inside of Larry, growing like a tumor. “You’re not  _ my  _ imaginary friend,” he says, voice faint and shock-drenched. “You came from the Spirit.”

“I come from a devotion so deep that no one can comprehend it. I am the result of a coin with two contrasting sides: infatuation… and apathy.”

Keeg feels -  _ hatred.  _ More hatred, Larry’s self-perception spiraling and unfolding in the center of their combined bodies. He feels guilty. He wishes that he knew the truth  _ sooner,  _ he craves a restart. This is not what Keeg wanted. This is nightmarish, demonic. This is a fracture. 

Larry Trainor will never see the truth; he will never see himself as deserving, as  _ worthy;  _ the way Keeg sees him.

He looks down, presses his hand to his chest, “I’m so sorry—-”

“They may be forgiving,” says the other Larry;  _ oh,  _ now it is a different, deeper voice, and behind his goggles there rests a faint yellow glow, “but I am not.”

The wax entombs him. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> me: what if keeg had an imaginary friend that was just a version of larry that was nice to them oh god oh fuck *starts crying*  
> kudos+feedback appreciated!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Devoted and Divine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29849988) by [Thejoysofcreativity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thejoysofcreativity/pseuds/Thejoysofcreativity)




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